To Our Readers: Mr. Garrity has asked me to explain the recent paucity of posts on this site. “Tell my loyal fans to be patient,” he said, using a burner phone from an undisclosed site. “I’ll be back up to speed as soon as I finish the draft of TT2. In the meantime, send the Kansas City staff home and tell them to wait for further instructions.” He then muttered something that sounded like, “Nobody’s clawing their way into the middle class on my dime,” but he hung up before I could say anything.
TT2, by the way, is shorthand for Tour Tempo 2: The Short Game and Beyond, the long-awaited sequel to Tour Tempo: Golf’s Last Secret Finally Revealed, now in its 11th printing. We here at Top 50 headquarters assume that Mr. Garrity is holed up somewhere with John Novosel, his Tour Tempo co-author. The new book will be released later this spring on an array of electronic platforms.
In the meantime, Mr. Garrity has secured an agreement from the top 200 courses that they will make no improvements and countenance no deterioration until he returns. That way, the rankings will not be affected.
“If you can find a generic golf course photo, post it,” he said in the call. “Slap a caption on it. Something to do with Augusta National would be good, the Masters is coming up.”
Thank you for your understanding.
Ethan Mobely, v.p. customer relations/outsourcing